…or mistress or queen or whatever title they go by. What, you think you’re going to avoid my ire just because you’re submissive to someone else? Uh-uh, you cause me offense, you’ll be hearing about it directly from me.
One of a catalog of my many bug bears is reading something like this in a profile:
Any complaints or compliments are to be addressed to my owner, Miss Twoshoes
I have a few problems with this. For one, it goes against my philosophy on BDSM. I don’t have relationships with dominants, submissives, I have relationships with people. If there’s a BDSM element to any of those relationships, they’ll develop over a period of time. So if someone offends me, there’s no BDSM element to that, it’s an interpersonal conflict which is of no business to anyone else.
Another problem I have with it is that I myself have rather unusual quirks. There are characteristics in my submissives which I value and may well not to conform to other people’s ideas of what BDSM is. Well that’s tough tooty. They submit to me to please me (and themselves), not to please you and it would be utter hypocrisy for me to contact a dominant because their submissive didn’t conform to my ideals.
Rarely it is necessary to contact the dominant, usually to haul him or her over the coals. One particular occasion springs to mind; a lady refused to address me as anything other than sis or miss. Regular readers will know my position on that, if you don’t then here’s what I’ve written about such nonsense. This lady was adamant that to call me anything else would be against her instructions, so on that occasion I did contact her mistress and reamed her for non-consensually involving me in their BDSM That is not on.
Other than that though, I talk to people directly and you know what? That pays dividends I reckon. I see some really nice work on a set of shackles (you know who you are) I have no hesitation in opening up an IM and going “ooooooh, love what you’ve done with your cuffs,” and I don’t think that’s unreasonable.
What’s even worse though is something like this:
Any complaints or compliments about my girls must be brought to me.
Huh? Who are you to tell me what to do? If I’ve a problem with one of your living in submission hasn’t got a mouth for herself girls, I’m gonna be taking it up with her, not you. If you really want to micro-manage their existence, have them report all complaints or compliments to you, leave me out of it. If, after that, you find you need to speak to me, be my guest but you’re gonna be the one initiating the exchange, not me. I’m quite approachable really and I’m always up for a good discussion 🙂
From Shuggi’s pet peeves of SL and BDSM department.