Archive for March, 2009

Carrot and stick

Given the choice, what would you rather have?  Pipe down pain puppies, for you girls and gals at stick IS a carrot 😛

Positive re-inforcement is nearly always preferable to correction for a couple of reasons.  Humans are altruistic, it’s an evolutionary trait that has served us well.  It is a pleasurable experience to reward someone, just as it is a pleasurable experience to be rewarded.  Let the good times roll.

Correction is not pleasant for either party.

I was going to write a lot more, but if you can’t figure out from that which direction you should take your lifestyle; well there’s not much more to say is there?

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I’m having a moment of RL grrrness right now.  There’s a soap in Australia called Home and Away.  You can read about it over at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_and_away if you really want to or tl;dr, it’s a soap in a `children friendly’ tiimeslot.

Over the years it’s featured murder, secret cults, blackmail, affairs, drug use; all the usual fare of soaps and that’s been absolutley fine for the sweet and innocent children of Ausralia to watch.

Front page news today is anguish amongst `concerned parents’ and `family values advocates’ that there’s a lesbian storyline between consenting adults!  FRONT PAGE NEWS!  Read all about it here http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,28383,25169625-10229,00.html and if you really want to lose you dinner, read the reader comments.

For f**ks sake!  How far we’ve come yet how far we still have to go.  Intolerance reigns supreme.

Postscript: I don’t watch the show.  Don’t really watch TV acutally.

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Tonight I had a pirme example of the sort of thing in D/s that I really don’t like.  This happened in a D/s sim where many follow a conveiton that subs should not sit on furniture.  Hello, I’m a neko, in other words a cat person.  Ever tried to keep cats off of furniture?

Names edited.

[23:19] Miss Ignorance: is Shuggi a domme?

Not a good start, I was sat right next to her.  My hackles rise,

[23:19] Shuggi Grunspan: Who are you asking, Miss Ignorance?

>general chatter from other people present<

[23:21] Miss Ignorance: Shuggi seems to want to address me as a peer

Right, so she’s ignoring me eh?  She’s gone from a simple slip to being actively rude.

>More general chatter and…

[23:22] Bystander 1: that is because she is not a sub to anyone here Aurora

Bystander 1 is a good friend of mine.

[23:22] Shuggi Grunspan looks to Miss Ignorance, “We’ve just met. The parameters of our relationship have not been established so I treat you the same as I treat anyone else.”
[23:23] Bystander 2 smiles Hello Shuggi
[23:23] Shuggi Grunspan: Hi Bystander 2, how are you?
[23:24] Bystander 2: I m doing great
[23:24] Bystander 2: How are are you dear
[23:24] Shuggi Grunspan smiles ruefully, “A bit black and blue. New boots and I’m falling over all the time. I’m told I’ll get better though.”

My new Mesmerize Dungeon Ballet Boots.  They actually do make you fall over, limit your speed and limit what you can climb, great boots!

[23:24] Miss Ignorance: so Shuggi is not a sub?

Seems she’s not letting go, I’m about to open my mouth when my good friend steps in.

[23:25] Bystander 1: she is only sub to one person
[23:25] Bystander 1: the rest of the time she is free
[23:25] Bystander 2: She explained that to you

Maybe I should have left it there, but this ingorant woman who gives dommes a bad name, and by extension give me a bad name as I domme quite a bit, really had my hackles up.  Not only did she talk about me in front of me, she ignored me when I called her on it and ignored my friend when she explained something that should not have needed explaining.

[23:26] Shuggi Grunspan turns to Miss Ignorance, “You know, you could just aske me. Thought of that? Okay, cliff notes version. I’m a switch. I’m Owned, I also have a sub. I’m owned by one person in SL and it’s rare indeed I kneel to her, she doesn’t like it.”
[23:26] Bystander 2: Bravo Shuggi

Funnily enough that was the last thing she said.  Ten minutes went by and I turned to her and asked her why my inclination was so important to her.

She TP’d.

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