Archive for February, 2009

Credits: Marine Kelley for RLV, Sharie Criss for Forcewear and Amethyst Rosencrans for her line of collars.  They’re the clever ones, I’m just a curious neko who fiddles with their work.

That out the way, let’s dive in shall we? Like a lot of people in SL I like to mix and match various bits and pieces from ensembles to create a different look.  With copy objects that’s not so bad, create a loot and put the copies all in one folder, easy peasy but there are catches.  Like a lot of kinky people I have locking things, things that need owners set (I really wish people would use the term keyholder, but owner seems the norm) etc etc.  Create too many copies and it can be a real ‘mare to manage what’s what and come update time, ugh!  So really, it would be bette to stick with one.

And of course with no-copy items you have no choice but to stick with one, so what does that leave us?

Take a look at this, yep that’s me under all that!  No, I can’t change so don’t ask, I’m in this till I’m let out, whenever that might be.  And yes my shoulders are starting to ache, and let’s not talk about my toes *mewl* 😛

I have items, besides my default stuff like my HUD attachments from no less than ten folders!  Okay now they’re all in #RLV so just takea look at it for a second.  How long do you think it’d take you to find all that in my inventory and put it on, even if you knew it as well as I do?  Couple of minutes?  Five even?  Bleaugh!  Gotta be an easier way than that.  So subs, if you like your owner putting certain outfits on you and dommes, if you like putting certain outfits on your sub that your sub may not necessarily like but who cares?  Here is a way of making life easier on yourself for outfits which may be used with some regularity.

Thanks to the chat command functionality of Sharie Criss’ Forcewear plugin for the Amethyst collar, we can parcel all that up in to one gesture.  Without further ado, the screenie or it didn’t happen thing.

There’s nothing particularly complicated about it.  First off give it a name.  Name it in the inventory too, so you can find it easier.  Specify a trigger, it’s a really good idea to put a slash in the front so you don’t accidentally spawn the gesture in normal chat; that could be a little embaresssing.  Take out the replace with or put something appropriate in there.

Next step, click on each of the steps that come with a new gesture and get rid of them.  From there it’s just a case of building the gesture by adding a chat step, typing in the command, preview it to make sure it’s right, rinse and repeat!  I’ve put wait steps in between each one as it seems to cope with lag a bit better that way.  Once done, save it and you’re good to go; if yuo’re feeling adventuress give a copy to everyone who’s on your collar.

Couple of tips before you go off and have fun with this.  It’s a good idea to use the silent channel so everyone’s chat screen doesn’t fill with spam.  It’s also a good idea with things which are copy and can be colored to put them in their own folder and add a step the gesture.  I know that’s contray to what I said earlier, but take the ER hair, it’s a bit annoying recoloring it for each outfit, so why not make a seperate one if it’s going to be used reuglarly?

Hope that helps some, have fun!

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My Chemistry

So who am I, and what makes me tick?  At the behest of my wife I took a personality test over at http://chemistry.com  (well, she showed me hers so….)

Without further ado, here it is:

Your Major and Minor Personality Types
Characteristics of all four personality types can be found within each of us, but there is almost always one personality type that is dominant. We call this the major personality type.

The Chemistry Profile also identifies your minor or secondary personality type. You exhibit some aspects of this personality type, though not to the same degree as with your major type.

  • Your major personality type = Director
  • Your minor personality type = Explorer

You are a DIRECTOR/explorer

You are courageous; and you seek challenges. You are a tough-minded, independent and daring thinker who likes to explore ideas or problems thoroughly. You focus easily. And you are persistent, systematic and competent in pursuing your interests and goals.

You are also assertive; and you enjoy the opportunities your hard work wins.

You have a lot of energy. You think quickly, make decisions more easily than most, dislike unnecessary rules, and take a rational approach to people, issues and ideas.

You don’t often enjoy “small talk.” You are generally not interested in pleasing boring people and you gravitate to men and women who are intellectually exciting and get to their point quickly during conversations.

You are not conventional in most of your attitudes and values. You tend to be irreverent and pragmatic and you like spontaneous people. You can be an exciting, yet hard driving and exacting, friend and companion.

The test was developed by Helen Fisher, who’s blog can be found over at http://helenfisher.typepad.com/

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Control, control...

Control, control...

I’ve gone with the Yoda pic for a reason – just like the force there is good and bad when it comes to dommes and frequently, although not always, it boils down to control.  For me control is a very big thing, bigger than for most I gather.

There are many aspects to control, control of environmnet, control of sub’s actions, control freedoms etc etc;  but here’s the thing; in D/s control is an unequal thing.  The submissive surrenders control to the dominant.

Let’s just think about that for a second, and I’ll use switchy me as an example.  As a sub it is very difficult for me to hand over that level of control.  There are very few people in SL I trust with that and, sadly, it tends to be all or nothing.  I either trust you completely in which case I’ll submit, or there’s a nagging dobut which blocks me.  Probably why I domme a lot more than I sub.

As a domme I am quite controlling.  I like using restraints, I like making use of the features of RLV where they make sense.  I very much like to set the scene.  I’m very comfortable in that role because I am in control.  I take a lot from it because my sub (or casual play partner – I’m finding it harder and harder to defend accusations that I’m a slut) has surrendered control to me.

Wow!  That’s huge.  My sub’s experience is dependent on my actions.  It’s an encredibly empowering feeling and, at the same time, an incredible responsibility.  At every moment I’m aware that how the scene pans out is largely up to me and it’s got a much higher chance of success if I control myself!

Sounds obvious, huh?  Well to people like myself who came to BDSM through RL it is (oh gosh, now I’m sounding ancient and elitist 😛 ) but in SL the ingrained passing down of konwledge which comes from joining a local mailing list and meeting people in the flesh is not there.  Anyone can create a new character and on the first day be grabbing keys and – well I’m sure you’ve all seen it.

So it may be obvious but I’ve seen many dominants who have failed to abide by this principle; always be in control of yourself.  If you feel that control slipping, it’s time for hugs and kisses (or whatever works, latex and locks work better for me), a bit of reassurance that it’ll all be fine but a time out is needed,  because if you’re not in control chances are you’re not domming the sub, you’re abusing.

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This is a response to Meta’s post on Submission

In that post, Meta makes the following observation:

Both the Domme and the sub have responsibilities to each other, and (here comes the part that will raise the hackles of a lot of Dommes) I think the submissive has the harder role of the two.

Harder?  No, I don’t think it’s harder; I think it’s different.  I guess that sounds like a cop out so I’d better put a bit more behind that, eh?

Meta does not give herself enough credit.  I see only the tip of the iceberg that goes in to how she crafts the ride for Audren but it’s enough for me to know that a lot of thought and consideration goes in to everything she does .  Meta’s been doing this so long and well that I suspect it’s second nature to her, for a lot of us it isn’t.

A dominant’s job, done well is demanding.  For every constraint that is put on a sub, a dominant has to be in a position to detect and correct transgressions, at times over-riding natural compassion.  For every boundary that is pushed, a dominant has to be there to monitor and know just how hard and far to push and when to pull back.  For every uncertainty a sub faces a dominant has to be the rock, even if the sentiment is shared.  I could carry on, I think you get the idea.

A domiant is in charge of the ride, make it too wild and the wheels will fall off, make it too tame and it’s no fun for anyone.  What makes it paritcularly a challenge is that what’s a fun, thrilling ride for some may well be deathly dull for others or a ride that won’t even be entered in to, and the ride needs to keep changing to hold interest for both parties.  That’s not an easy job.

Salut, Meta.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  You too Audren, or would you prefer a spank?

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It’s not often I’ll talk about my RL here.  RL is not why I’m in SL  Some things are just too big to ignore though.

I’m in the Australian’s group, around about 21:30 it just went mad.  As I write this ther have been 89 confirmed deaths and this is on track to be the largest bushfire event in terms of death worldwide.

Almost worse are the ones who are being treated in the Alfred Hospital burns unit.  Deep enough, that’s an injury that never heals.

It’s one thing watching the reports on the TV, it’s quite anothe hearing from those  in SL who have had relatives die.  Work tomorrow is going to be tough, I’m pretty close to the coal face of it all with my profession.

Tell the ones you love you love them.  Please.

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Shared folders is a feature offered by the Restrained Life Viewer.  Shared folders is also referred to as force wear or #RLV (the folder name) depending on how you’re talking to.

I’m not going to talk about how to set them up, Marine’s done an excellenet job of that already on her blog.  How to organize your forcewear, I’m the last person to ask.  Inventory management is not my forte!

I’m going to talk about two things, primarily.  Sharie Criss’ Forcewear plugin for the Amethyst collar, and how the dommes amongst you can make your life easier and how the subs amongst you can make life easier for your domme.  Okay that’s three things.

I swear it’s co-incidence that Sharie’s my landlady *waves* and with that declaration of interest out of the way, what does her plugin do?  It does two things, firstly it is a better way of using shared folders than the tools provided by the Amethyst Restrained Life script.  It feels nicer, it works better.  That of course is my opinion but everyone I’ve introduced to Sharie’s plugin agree with me.

Secondly, and this is the killer feature for me, it supports chat commands.   This is so useful that I use it for day to day stuff, not just BDSM; yes, unbelievably I have intersts outside of BDSM.  I can hear the cries of BS from people who know me already, but it’s true.

So what do chat commands do for me?  Well say I want to put my wrist shackles on quickly, being a super quick typist all I have to do is type:

shufw wear res/ss/wr

And boom, on go the wrist shackles.  No clicking on inventory, finding the right folder, right clicking, wear. zzzzzz….. It’s great!  It’s so great I use it for my footwear as well, here’s another one:

shufw wear foo/ank/nell/bla/heel

And my oooohhh so sexy that I could just die Nella Black High Heels are forced on to my feet.  Oh the agony of six inch heels!

Now you may be looking at that thinking, how the hell do I remember all those cryptic paths?  Well the other thing that Sharie’s plugin does is match partial names.  My wrist shackles are located in:

> restraints/> SS/wrists

And my dreamy heels (can you tell I love them?) are located in:

> footwear/> ankle/> Nella/> Black/heels

As you can see though I only had to type out enough to uniquely identify the path. Love it!

Okay so that’s how I use it on myself.  How’s that useful to dommes?  Compare the pair:

Domme snaps shackles on your wrists, cuffing them securely behind your back ((put your cuffs on))

sub: ((okay Miss, done))

Nothing wrong with that, in fact it’s quite nice.  This, however:

Domme: /1 shufw wear res/ss/wr

Domme snaps shackles on your wrists, cuffing them securely behind your back

sub squeaks, tugging on the shackles

See the difference?  In the first one, I had to actively comply to make the scene work.  In the second one, I didn’t have a choice!  And that Domme: sent it out on the silent channel meant that I wasn’t even aware that I was wearing cuffs before they were locked, by which time it’s too late!  The only bit I see is Domme snapping shackles on and the spam from the restraints locking *melt*

If you think I found that hot, imagine how I felt getting turned in to a latex kitty in the middle of a shop by remote control (okay that’s a different tool, holy crap though I was shaking 🙂 ).

Lastly, I know you’re going to find this shocking, there are some dommes out there with more than one sub! *nodnods* it’s true!  Now I’m a switch of little brain and find it a little difficult remembering where everything is in Vel’s astonishing arsenal of restraints is (she’s on a shopping ban for that sort of thing, I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface), so what it’s like with two, three heck I know one domme who had ten subs who were all RLV users…heaven”s only knows.

Well dommes, listen up!  The sub’s shared folders is not there for their convenience; that’s a pleasnt side benefit.  It’s there for yours! Why should you have to remember who’s got what where?  Lay down the law!  You will have your shackles here, they will be ordererd in this particular manner and named in this particular way, because those shackles are mine, not yours!

If you’re feeling reasonable you’ll let your subs use #RLV for their own purposes as well, but claim your space and make life easier on yourself.  You’ve enough to worry about without subs getting above their station and deciding how to organise your folders 😉

Yes Illy, I’ve learned kitten’s lesson *looks sheepish*

And subbies, if you’re reading this and your domme isn’t, take the initiative.  If you’ve got sisters or brothers who use this stuff, get together sort out your folders and put it forward to your dominant as a proposal.  It is a sub’s job to make life easier for the dominant after all.

Ciao for now, coffee time.

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I’m an exhibitionist.  Bet that’s a surprise, eh?  Sure there’s a time and place for taking it to the private bedroom, and that’s important, but few things give me more of a thrill than doing it in public.  Replace variable $it with all sorts of naughtiness, there is very little I will not do in public; you have been warned!  If our paths cross you’d better make it darned clear if I’m taking you too far *cackles evily*

So what makes it appealing to me?  Ah the curse of switchdom, I’m gonna have to approach this from two angles.  *flips a coin* okay domme Shuggi gets first dibs.

At it’s most basic level, it’s a pride thing.  Be it a casual one night stand or something more involved and serious as it is with my sisters or my sub, I consider recieving someone’s submission a most precious gift.  Here I have someone trusting me to take him or her on a ride and to be there to catch if things go bad.  Why the hell would I want to keep that to myself?

No, I want to parade my partner in crime and me for all to see!  I want people to see what a delightful person has captivated my interest on this given night.  I revel in putting on a good show for the crowd, hell if it’s appropriate I love it if the crowd joins in (make sure it’s okay first though, usual ettiquette etc etc).

And here’s a secret.  Don’t tell anyone, okay?  Between you, me and the Internet there are a lot of subs out there who are like me and love it when someone takes charge of them in public.  Giving someone that special thrill makes me all warm and gooey inside, in a really domly way of course.

So what about sub Shuggi?  Unsurprisingly, pretty much the same as domme Shuggi, after all we’re the same person!  Yes, I talk to myself a lot, but it’s okay, I know I’m sane.

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s something really nice about private time and some scenes just will not work in public.  There’s plenty of stuff that will though.  Few things make me feel warmer inside than being actively dommed in front of others and actively dommed covers a whole host of things.  Locked in to a paritcular outfit and restraints is a particular thrill; people ask me how did this to me and I can tell them, my wife and Owner, ’cause she loves me.  Of course it’s even nicer if she’s there to run the show but eh, I’m an Aussie and she’s an American so we make do with the time we have toegether.  What we have does a few things for me.

First off, I’m showing off!  Yah boo sucks, this is my Owner, bet you wished your Owner was as hot as mine!  Yeah, see?  I nabbed myself a good one here, she’s the best!  Look what she’ll do for me, jealous much?  Oh how petty of me hee hee.

Anothe thing it does for me is this: for my Owner there is nothing I wouldn’t do in public.  Well, nothing that springs to mind anyway.  Now this bit is kind of hard to put in to words but I’ll try; see there are some things out there that I find…distasteful, and some of those things might surprise you.  No, not going to give you any clues, so don’t even bother trying to fish for them.

For my Owner, and to a slightly more limited extent my sisters (yes, sisters, you can try if you think you’re brave enough) nothing gives me a greater thrill than doing something I ordinarily find extremely distasteful, almost to the point of a limit, for them.  It is a very strange but powerful feeling, I may hate the particular activity but doing that for my Owner, and being seen to be doing it gives me such a submissive thrill it gives me a buzz for days.

Look, I never claimed to be normal.  You’re in the wrong part of the Internet for that.

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