Surveillance and trust

The other day I recieved email notification from a restraint that my sub had just logged in to SL.

That’s nice.  Shame I’m stuck at work for the next seven hours.  I mean really, why did I need to know that?

It did perk my interest though as it’s not an area of power exchange I’d discussed with Vel.  Now that Vel’s expressed her feelings on the matter I can express mine without fear of influencing her opinion, although I’m fast learning that that’s something I don’t have to worry too much about with her.

Frankly I’m relieved that it does nothing for Vel one way or the other for a number of reasons.  Chief amongst them is the issue of trust.  Yes, I know this is all virtual and all but I’m of the opinion that BDSM is at least 80% in the head, if not more, and in the head is very much where we are in SL.  Without trust between the dominant and the sub, you’re on a rocky road.  I’m not looking for a relationship where I’m actively poking in to every corner of Vel’s life.

Another reason is consent, something I feel very strongly about.  For those not aware there are a number of products that allow an avatar to act as a bug for a party not present.  Think of all the crime shows where the informant’s gone in wired to gather evidence from his one time associates…okay that’s maybe over-dressing it a bit but the principle still stands.   Just because Vel has consented to have her movements, who she come in to contact with and what she says monitored and recorded doesn’t mean the people she comes in to contact with has.  Short of putting a neon flashing titler above her head proclaiming that all Vel sees and hears is reported to me, gaining that consent is problematic at best.  I’m also pretty sure it’s a ToS violation but I haven’t checked.

Another reason is that it saves me a hell of a lot of work.  I mean really, if Vel was in to this sort of thing I’d feel obligated to at least skim the logs for anything vaguely interesting, otherwise what’s the point?  And goodness can you imagine sifting through the logs if…er strike the if….when  she’s been to a party?

Does that mean surveillance has no place?  No.  For specific activities it can be very useful and can enhance a scene; it can also give a sub re-assurance that someone is watching in an edgy scene.  It’s a tool to be used sparingly and only when appropriate … of course appropriateness is open to some debate.

Unfairly, as a sub I find the idea a bit of a turn on.  I’m not sure the reality would match, though.